What is marriage? Why does every culture have marriage, in some form? Why do pagans, homosexuals, and Christians all feel compelled to make a relationship legitimate through marriage?
So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
The man said, ” This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:20-25) NIV
Marriage is when a man and a woman join together and become one flesh. Notice how God created a woman out of the flesh of man, not another man. God created a woman out of Adam’s flesh because Adam needed “a suitable helper”, he needed a mate. So God gave Adam his wife Eve because a woman compliments a man. Man was not created with the ability to give birth, so man needed a female to compliment his maleness in reproduction. So right from the beginning God set the guidelines for sex: it is to be between one man and one woman, that man and woman are to be married, and it is God’s gift to married couples.
This is why every culture around the world practices marriage. It’s the reason why pagans (all non-Christians), homosexuals, and Christians all desire marriage with their life partners; because humans were created, by God, with the desire to be whole. People are complete when they join together with a member of the opposite sex, in marriage, to become “one flesh”. This is the reason why divorce is such a traumatic experience: divorce tears that ‘one flesh’ apart. It is absolutely devastating to both people- spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Divorcing your spouse is no different from cutting off your own arm or leg. When the ‘one flesh’ is torn apart, neither individual is ever the same. The scars are deep and permanent.
The final aspect of becoming one flesh is the leaving of the parents. When a man and woman marry they are united to each other. That means that each has to shift their loyalty and allegiance from their parents to their spouse. Neither spouse can keep running back to their parents every time there’s trouble or conflict. When you are married your spouse is your primary relationship. All problems must be worked out between the two of you. If need be an unbiased counselor can be utilized to help you work through problems, but never a parent and rarely is a family member the best choice for in-depth marriage counseling/mentoring. The bottom line is that you are both on the same team. Competing against each other hurts both of you. You can never truly win a competition against your spouse, it’s like competing against yourself and trying to claim a victory.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.-Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.- Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)